Not everyone loves animals. There are some people out there who can’t live without pets, but there are also plenty of others who simply can’t stand having any animals in their home. It was the latter kind of person whom a guy named Getzen ended up being in a relationship with.

After being together for four years, he decided that it was time to move in with his girlfriend. But he could never have imagined how much she would end up hating his dog, Molly. Getzen’s girlfriend even went so far as to put an ultimatum to him: she demanded that he get rid of the dog, however much it pained him to do so. Having given the matter considerable thought, Getzen placed an advert in the local newspaper:

For free to a good owner:dog-oo

’My girlfriend doesn’t like my dog, Molly. So I have to find a new home for her. She’s purebred, from a good area, and we’ve spent four years together. She likes playing games, but isn’t very well trained. She has long hair, so she requires more thorough care than usual, especially with regards to her nails. But she loves being looked after. She doesn’t sleep much, and makes a lot of noise all night; instead she sleeps when I’m at work. She eats only the best and most expensive meals. She NEVER greets you at the door after a long day at work, and she’ll never give you unconditional love even when you’re down. She doesn’t bite, but she’s quick to kick up a fuss.

So…if anyone’s interested in my thirty-year-old selfish, bitchy and greedy girlfriend, come and take her! My dog and I want her to move out as soon as possible. This is urgent!’


A few days after placing the ad, Getzen provided an update: his girlfriend had returned to her owners (her parents) — and he and Molly were looking for a new partner.