He was at the grocery store minding his own business when he couldn’t help but hear this woman going off on a kid for a stupid cake mix. When he saw the kid cry…he thought of doing something about it.
I was at the grocery store yesterday getting some stuff for this weekend when I stumbled upon something that really ticked me off. I’m just hanging out, minding my own business looking for stuff on the list my wife made me, when I heard something in the next aisle. Sounded like an argument. I’m a curious guy, so I skiddoodled on over to see what was going on. Some middle-aged soccer mom looking bitch was absolutely tearing into this cherub-faced kid about them not carrying the type of cake mix she wanted. “This is ridiculous! What kind of place is this!
I need that cake mix! Get your ass to the backroom and look for it again! I’m having a party tomorrow and have to have it!” The poor guy looked shell-shocked. If he was anything over 16 years old, I would be so surprised. But I’ll give it to him, he handled it pretty well. “I’m sorry ma’am … we don’t have any. I already looked … we have the store brand, though … it’s basically the same stuff… I’d be happy to get some of that for you?” he replied. Good on you, young store employee.
“NO. I DON’T WANT OFF-BRAND. YOU ARE A LOSER! GET ME YOUR MANAGER.”
Cake bitch was losing her shit. I know cake is awesome, but com’on lady, you’re being a big ol’ turd. The kid’s manager comes out, chats with the lady who continues to freak out, but eventually gets her just to take the store-brand cake mix. He and his employee walk past me, I noticed that the kid was in tears. I was feeling a little bit feisty yesterday. I can be a bastard-coated-bastard with bastard filling sometimes, but I absolutely hate it when people are rude to store employees/waiters/people they think are ‘beneath them.’ Really, really pisses me off. That bitch wasn’t getting away with it. I stalked her through the store, never getting too close to set off alarm. She moved from aisle to aisle getting more things for her impending bitch-festival, not knowing that a predator was about to strike.
She got some pretty delicious looking things, I might add…but I wasn’t after those. I had my target. I was going to take that fucking cake mix. I knew exactly where it was in her cart. Her cart was getting pretty full so I decided to move in for the kill. The petty-revenge gods were on my side because somehow the cake mix wasn’t covered by anything. She turned her back on her cart and bent down to get something off the bottom shelf. I rushed in, very nonchalantly snagged the cake mix out of her cart, and moved on. Of course I had to watch to make sure she checked out. In fact, I made sure I was right behind her.
She didn’t notice a thing. For how big of a deal that damn cake mix was to her, I was surprised how little attention she payed to what she put on the conveyor belt. I smiled all night thinking about how she got home, unloaded all of her groceries, but couldn’t find the cake mix. She probably went back out to her car, looked around, maybe under the seats … but guess what lady, it’s not there. That cake mix deserved better than her. I bought it. It was confetti cake mix. It might have been for a kids party for all I know, but I don’t care. I made it when I got home and it was fucking delicious. Store brands are great.