How to Handle Criticism: 5 Helpful Steps

By
Adam East
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Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.”
Eleanor Roosevelt

“Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.”
Benjamin Franklin

What do you fear in your everyday life? One common answer would probably be to be criticized. To stand there and hear those words streaming out of someone’s mouth and feel stupid or feel rejected or like you are getting smaller and smaller.

I get quite a bit of feedback from my readers. Most of it is positive and supportive. But there are also sometimes criticism or harsh and nasty attacks. That part isn’t always so fun and can be hurtful. But it is a part of life if you want to live your life your way.

That being said, I have a few steps that I usually run through when I get an email that is critical or is attacking me. This isn’t some magical protection from being hurt or feeling pain but it helps me to better handle criticism and sometimes to get something good out of it.

These steps work pretty well in real life too.

1. Don’t reply right away.

It is very easy to become riled up, angry or defensive when you receive some criticism. This is not a good position to be in to fire away a reply if you don’t want to wind up making the situation worse.

Plus, I really work on keeping my self-esteem high. And to lash back at them or to not be the better person here can really hurt your self-esteem. It might feel good for a while to do so but it is a dirty high that comes with a hangover of feeling worse about yourself and subtle or not so subtle self-destructiveness.

So this is about my own well-being to a high degree. And so I never reply back right away. Instead I look closer at the email. If you receive criticism in real life try to at least take a couple of deep breaths to cool down just a bit and to feel more balanced before you reply.

2. Really listen to the criticism

Instead of attacking the other person for his or her words and building a hostile atmosphere try to calm it down. Try to remain level-headed, open and figure out how this message can help you.

Ask yourself questions like:

Can I learn something from this piece of criticism? Maybe there is something here that I do not want to hear but that could help me to improve?

Remember: the criticism isn’t always about you.

Some criticism is certainly helpful. Some isn’t that helpful or just simply attacks. What can I do then?

Well, then I remember that criticism isn’t always about me. It would be nice if all criticism one gets comes from level-headed place. But in reality people will have a bad day or week. Some will hate some part of their life. Some might not be all that well at this moment.

So they lash out at you to release pent up negative emotions. On your blog or maybe in school or at work. It’s not fun. But it happens.

To lessen the sting of this criticism or these attacks I try to be understanding. I think that based on the message I got – often really angry or overly critical about some pretty minor thing – this person isn’t feeling too good right now and is overreacting or need to release some pent up emotions.

By being understanding of this it becomes easier to just let such messages go instead of feeling bad or becoming angry too.

4. Reply or let go.

If you reply then try one or a few follow up questions if you think that could help you. And even when someone blurts out something not too constructive like “Your work/blog/product isn’t very good” you might want to ask a few open-ended questions to get more constructive information.

Questions like:

  • What part of it did you not like or did you not find helpful?
  • How can I improve it?

When I reply to a critical email I try to keep my attitude positive and kind no matter what they have written.

I thank him or her for what he or she wrote. I may add a question or two to get more clarification.

Sometimes I get back a much more level-headed reply where they actually help me to improve what I am doing and although I may still feel a bit hurt it also feels good to be the better person in this situation and to create a constructive conversation.

If they won’t answer your questions then they are probably just lashing out. And so it is time to let go.

I really don’t reply to all emails though. Nasty attacks are for example most often just put in the junk mail folder. I have more interesting things to focus on.

5. Keep your daily balance.

This isn’t a step to handle one specific email, phone call or critical message. But I have found that it becomes a whole lot easier to handle criticism if you stay balanced in your daily life. Those messages seem to not be as hurtful, they don’t affect me as much or sometimes just roll off my back like water on a duck when I:

  • Work in a relaxed way. Extra stress makes you more susceptible to the negative messages and to overreacting to criticism.
  • Manage the 3 fundamentals. That means to eat properly, to get enough sleep and to work out a couple of times a week. Keeping the balance of your physical fundamentals make you mentally stronger too.
  • Keep the self-esteem up. Criticism can send you down a spiral of self-loathing and feeling lousy about yourself. Keeping the stress down and the energy-giving fundamentals up can help you to not wind up in such dark places. Keeping your own self-esteem up is also vital. A couple of basic things that help me to do so is to behave in way where I do the right thing (like being the better person when replying to a critical email) as best I can, to appreciate myself, my good traits and accomplishments and to forgive myself instead of beating myself up about stuff or holding myself to impossible standards.

What is your tip for handling criticism in a good way?

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Mark Twain’s Top 9 Tips for Living a Kick-Ass Life

By
Adam East
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“It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.”

“Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”

“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.”

You may know Mark Twain for some of his very popular books like Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. He was a writer and also a humorist, satirist and lecturer.

Twain is known for his many – and often funny – quotes. Here are a few of my favourite tips from him.

1. Approve of yourself.

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

If you don’t approve of yourself, of your behaviour and actions then you’ll probably walk around most of the day with a sort of uncomfortable feeling. If you, on the other hand, approve of yourself then you tend to become relaxed and gain inner freedom to do more of what you really want.

This can, in a related way, be a big obstacle in personal growth. You may have all the right tools to grow in some way but you feel an inner resistance. You can’t get there.

What you may be bumping into there are success barriers. You are putting up barriers in your own mind of what you may or may not deserve. Or barriers that tell you what you are capable of. They might tell you that you aren’t really that kind of person that could this thing that you’re attempting.

Or if you make some headway in the direction you want to go you may start to sabotage for yourself. To keep yourself in a place that is familiar for you.

So you need give yourself approval and allow yourself to be who you want to be. Not look for the approval from others. But from yourself. To dissolve that inner barrier or let go of that self-sabotaging tendency. This is no easy task and it can take time.

2. Your limitations may just be in your mind.

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

So many limitations are mostly in our minds. We may for instance think that people will disapprove because we are too tall, too old or balding. But these things mostly matter when you think they matter. Because you become self-conscious and worried about what people may think.

And people pick up on that and may react in negative ways. Or you may interpret anything they do as a negative reaction because you are so fearful of a bad reaction and so focused inward on yourself.

If you, on the other hand, don’t mind then people tend to not mind that much either. And if you don’t mind then you won’t let that part of yourself become a self-imposed roadblock in your life.

It is, for instance, seldom too late to do what you want to do.

3. Lighten up and have some fun.

“Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”

“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”

Humor and laughter are amazing tools. They can turn any serious situation into something to laugh about. They can lighten the mood just about anywhere.

And a lighter mood is often a better space to work in because now your body and mind isn’t filled to the brim with negative emotions. When you are more light-hearted and relaxed then the solution to a situation is often easier to both come up with and implement. Have a look at Lighten Up! for more on this topic.

4. Let go of anger.

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

Anger is most of the time pretty pointless. It can cause situations to get out of hand. And from a selfish perspective it often more hurtful for the one being angry then the person s/he’s angry at.

So even if you feel angry at someone for days recognize that you are mostly just hurting yourself. The other person may not even be aware that you are angry at him or her. So either talking to the person and resolving the conflict or letting go of anger as quickly as possible are pretty good tips to make your life more pleasurable.

5. Release yourself from entitlement.

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

When you are young your mom and dad may give a lot of things. As you grow older you may have a sort of entitlement. You may feel like the world should just give you what you want or that it owes you something.

This belief can cause a lot of anger and frustration in your life. Because the world may not give you what expect it to. On the other hand, this can be liberating too. You realize that it is up to you to shape your own life and for you to work towards what you want. You are not a kid anymore, waiting for your parents or the world to give you something.

You are in the driver’s seat now. And you can go pretty much wherever you want.

6. If you’re taking a different path, prepare for reactions.

“A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

I think this has quite a bit of relevance to self-improvement.

If you start to change or do something different than you usually do then people may react in different ways. Some may be happy for you. Some may be indifferent. Some may be puzzled or react in negative and discouraging ways.

Much of these reactions are probably not so much about you but about the person who said it and his/her life. How they feel about themselves is coming through in the words they use and judgements they make.

And that’s OK. I think it’s pretty likely that they won’t react as negatively as you may imagine. Or they will probably at least go back to focusing on their own challenges pretty soon.

So what other people may say and think and letting that hold you back is probably just fantasy and barrier you build in your mind.

You may find that when you finally cross that inner threshold you created then people around you may not shun you or go chasing after you with pitchforks.  They might just go: “OK”.

7. Keep your focus steadily on what you want.

“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.”

What you focus your mind on greatly determines how things play out. You can focus on your problems and dwell in suffering and a victim mentality. Or you can focus on the positive in situation, what you can learn from that situation or just focus your mind on something entirely else.

It may be “normal” to dwell on problems and swim around in a sea of negativity. But that is a choice. And a thought habit. You may reflexively start to dwell on problems instead of refocusing your mind on something more useful. But you can also start to build a habit of learning to gain more and more control of where you put your focus.

8. Don’t focus so much on making yourself feel good.

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

This may be a bit of a counter-intuitive tip. But as I wrote yesterday, one of the best ways to feel good about yourself is to make someone else feel good or to help them in some way.

This is a great way to look at things to create an upward spiral of positivity and exchange of value between people. You help someone and both of you feel good. The person you helped feels inclined to give you a hand later on since people tend to want to reciprocate. And so the both of you are feeling good and helping each other.

Those positive feelings are contagious to other people and so you may end up making them feel good too. And the help you received from your friend may inspire you to go and help another friend. And so the upward spiral grows and continues.

9. Do what you want to do.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Awesome quote. And I really don’t have much to add to that one. Well, maybe to write it down and keep it as a daily reminder – on your fridge or bathroom door – of what you can actually do with your life.

25 Beautifully Illustrated Thought-Provoking Questions

By
Adam East
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A question that makes you think is worth asking…

At the cusp of a new day, week, month, or year, most of us take a little time to reflect on our lives by looking back over the past and ahead into the future.  We ponder the successes, failures and standout events that are slowly scripting our life’s story.  This process of self reflection helps us maintain a conscious awareness of where we’ve been and where we intend to go.  It is pertinent to the organization and preservation of our dreams, goals and desires.

Remember, these questions have no right or wrong answers.  Because asking the right questions is the answer.

Here’s a sample of 25 recent thought questions posted on the site:

Thought Questions 2

Thought Questions 3

Thought Questions 4

Thought Questions 5

Thought Questions 7

Thought Questions 8

Thought Questions 9

Thought Questions 10

Thought Questions 11

Thought Questions 12

Thought Questions 13

Thought Questions 14

Thought Questions 15

Thought Questions 16

Thought Questions 17

Thought Questions 18

Thought Questions 19

Thought Questions 20

Thought Questions 21

Thought Questions 22

Thought Questions 23

Thought Questions 24

Thought Questions 25

Few extra questions

If you enjoyed these photo-Thought-Provoking Questions, you might also enjoy
“25 Photo-Illustrated Reminders to Help You Find Happiness”

20 Things to Stop Doing to Others

By
Adam East
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There is one key factor that can either damage your relationships or deepen them.  That factor is your attitude.  If you’re hoping to grow and maintain positive relationships in your life, read on.  Below you will find a 20 step attitude adjustment guaranteed to help you do just that.

  1. Stop holding grudges. – Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness.

    2.  

  2. Stop complaining. – Instead, use your time and energy to do something about it.

    3.  

  3. Stop meaning what you don’t say. – People can’t read minds.  Communicate regularly and effectively.

    4.  

  4. Stop making it all about you. – The world revolves around the sun, not you. Take a moment to acknowledge this truth on a regular basis.

    5.  

  5. Stop lying. – In the long-run the truth always reveals itself.  Either you own up to your actions or your actions will ultimately own you.

    6.  

  6. Stop blaming.  – Blaming others accomplishes nothing.  Either you own your problems, or they will own you.  Your choice.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give-up your power over that part of your life, and you annoy everyone around you in the process.

    7.  

  7. Stop doubting. – If you think that you can’t achieve something, I have some news for you, you’re probably right.  But don’t let your self-doubt interfere with other people’s dreams.  Remember, the one who says it can’t be done should never interrupt the one doing it.  (Read Unstoppable.)

    8.  

  8. Stop interrupting. – Correcting someone when they’re blatantly wrong is one thing, but always interjecting your opinions out of turn gets old fast.

    9.  

  9. Stop being selfish. – You get what you put into a relationship.  Nothing less, nothing more.

    10.  

  10. Stop judging. – Everyone is fighting their own unique war. You have no clue what they are going through, just like they have no clue what you’re going through.

    11.  

  11. Stop gossiping. – Gossiping about others is a lose/lose situation.  It hurts them, and then it hurts your reputation.

    12.  

  12. Stop making promises you can’t keep. – Don’t over-promise.  Over-deliver on everything you do.

    13.  

  13. Stop being defensive. – Just because someone sees something differently than you doesn’t mean either one of you is wrong.  Keep an open mind.  Open minds discover great things.

    14.  

  14. Stop comparing people to others. – No two people are alike.  Everyone has their own strengths.  We are only competing against our own selves.

    15.  

  15. Stop expecting people to be perfect. – ‘Perfect’ is the enemy of ‘good.’  And genuine ‘goodness’ is hard to find in this world.  Don’t overlook it.

    16.  

  16. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – It’s impossible.  But making one person smile can change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.

    17.  

  17. Stop screwing people over just because you can get away with it. – Just because you can get away with something doesn’t mean you should do it.  Think bigger.  Do what you know in your heart is right. (Read Life’s Greatest Lessons.)

    18.  

  18. Stop making mountains out of molehills. – People make mistakes.  Crap happens.  There’s no reason to stress out yourself and everyone around you because of it.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

    19.  

  19. Stop being dramatic. – Stay out of other people’s drama and don’t needlessly create your own.

    20.  

  20. Stop giving out advice, and just listen. – Less advice is often the best advice.  People don’t need lots of advice, they need a listening ear and some positive reinforcement.  What they want to know is already somewhere inside of them.  They just need time to think, be and breathe, and continue to explore the undirected journeys that will eventually help them find their direction.

And remember, your relationship with yourself is the closest and most important relationship you will ever have.  So pay attention to it, develop it, nurture it, and never, ever stop.

12 Ways to Get a Second Chance in Life

By
Adam East
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We all need second chances.  This isn’t a perfect world.  We’re not perfect people.

We rarely get things right the first time.  Almost every major accomplishment in a person’s life starts with the decision to try again and again – to get up after every failed attempt and give it another shot.

The only difference between an opportunity and an obstacle is attitude.  Getting a second chance in life is about giving yourself the opportunity to grow beyond your past failures.  It’s about positively adjusting your attitude toward future possibilities.

1.  Let go of the past.

What’s done is done.  When life throws us nasty curveballs it typically doesn’t make any sense to us, and our natural emotional reaction might be to get extremely upset and scream obscenities at the top of our lungs.  But how does this help our dilemma?  Obviously, it doesn’t.

The smartest, and oftentimes hardest, thing we can do in these kinds of situations is to be more tempered in our reactions.  To want to scream obscenities, but to wiser and more disciplined than that.  To remember that emotional rage only makes matters worse.  And to remember that tragedies are rarely as bad as they seem, and even when they are, they give us an opportunity to grow stronger.

Every difficult moment in our lives is accompanied by an opportunity for personal growth and creativity.  But in order to attain this growth and creativity, we must first learn to let go of the past.  We must recognize that difficulties pass like everything else in life.  And once they pass, all we’re left with are our unique experiences and the lessons required two make a better attempt next time.

2.  Identify the lesson.

Everything is a life lesson.  Everyone you meet, everything you encounter, etc.  They’re all part of the learning experience we call ‘life.’

Never forget to acknowledge the lesson, especially when things don’t go your way.  If you don’t get a job you wanted or a relationship doesn’t work, it only means something better is out there waiting.  And the lesson you just learned is the first step towards it.

3.  Lose the negative attitude.

Negative thinking creates negative results.  Positive thinking creates positive results.  Period.

Every one of the other suggestions in this article is irrelevant if your mind is stuck in the gutter.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  The mind must believe it can do something before it is capable of actually doing it.  For some practical positive thinking guidance I recommend reading The Power of Positive Thinking.

4.  Accept accountability for your current situation.

Either you take accountability for your life or someone else will.  And when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own.

You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life.  And no, it won’t always be easy.  Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them.  You must take accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles.  Choosing not to is giving up.

5.  Focus on the things you can change.

Some forces are out of your control.  The best thing you can do is do the best with what’s in front of you with the resources you do have access to.

Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation.  Invest your energy in the things you can change.

6.  Figure out what you really want.

You’ll be running on a hamster wheel forever if you never decide where you want to go.  Figure out what’s meaningful to you so you can be who you were born to be.

Some of us were born to be musicians – to communicate intricate thoughts and rousing feelings with the strings of a guitar.  Some of us were born to be poets – to touch people’s hearts with exquisite prose.  Some of us were born to be entrepreneurs – to create growth and opportunity where others saw rubbish.  And still, some of us were born to be or do whatever it is, specifically, that moves you.

Don’t quit just because you didn’t get it right on your first shot.  And don’t waste your life fulfilling someone else’s dreams and desires.  You must follow your intuition and make a decision to never give up on who you are capable of becoming.

7.  Eliminate the non-essential.

First, identify the essential – the things in your life that matter most to you.  Then eliminate the fluff. This drastically simplifies things and leaves you with a clean slate – a fresh, solid foundation to build upon without needless interferences.  This process works with any aspect of your life – work projects, relationships, general to-do lists, etc.

Remember, you can’t accomplish anything if you’re trying to accomplish everything.  Concentrate on the essential.  Get rid of the rest.  The Joy of Less is a great read on this topic.

8.  Be very specific.

When you set new goals for yourself, try to be as specific as possible.  “I want to lose twenty pounds” is a goal you can aim to achieve.  “I want to lose weight” is not.  Knowing the specific measurements of what you want to achieve is the only way you will ever get to the end result you desire.

Also, be specific with your actions too.  “I will exercise” is not actionable.  It’s far too vague.  “I will take a 30 minute jog every weekday at 6PM” is something you can actually do – something you can build a routine around – something you can measure.

9.  Concentrate on DOING instead of NOT DOING.

“Don’t think about eating that chocolate donut!”  What are you thinking about now?  Eating that chocolate donut, right?  When you concentrate on not thinking about something, you end up thinking about it.

The same philosophy holds true when it comes to breaking our bad habits.  By relentlessly trying not to do something, we end up thinking about it so much that we subconsciously provoke ourselves to cheat – to do the exact thing we are trying not to do.

Instead of concentrating on eliminating bad habits, concentrate on creating good habits (that just happen to replace the bad ones).  For instance, if you’re trying to eliminate snacking on junk food, you might create a new mental habit like this:  “At 3PM each day, about the time I’m usually ready for a snack, I will eat five whole wheat crackers.”  After a few weeks or months of concentrating on this good habit it will become part of your routine.  You’ll start doing the right thing without even thinking about it.

10.  Create a daily routine.

It’s so simple, but creating a daily routine for yourself can change your life.  The most productive routines, I’ve found, come at the start and end of the day – both your workday and your day in general.  That means, develop a routine for when you wake up, for when you first start working, for when you finish your work, and for the hour or two before you go to sleep.

Doing so will help you start each day on point, and end each day in a way that prepares you for tomorrow.  It will help you focus on the important stuff, instead of the distractions that keep popping up.  And most importantly, it will help you make steady progress – which is what second chances are all about.

11.  Maintain self-control and work on it for real.

The harder you work the luckier you will become.  Stop waiting around for things to work out.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.

While many of us decide at some point during the course of our lives that we want to answer our calling, only an astute few of us actually work on it.  By “working on it,” I mean truly devoting oneself to the end result.  The rest of us never act on our decision.  Or, at best, we pretend to act on it by putting forth an uninspired, half-assed effort.

If you want a real second chance, you’ve got to be willing to give it all you got.  No slacking off!  This means you have to strengthen and maintain your self-control.  The best way I’ve found to do this is to take one small bite of the elephant at a time.  Start with just one activity, and make a plan for how you will deal with troubles when they arise.  For instance, if you’re trying to lose weight, come up with a list of healthy snacks you can eat when you get the craving for snacks.  It will be hard in the beginning, but it will get easier.  And that’s the whole point.  As your strength grows, you can take on bigger challenges.

Remember, life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Achieving your dreams can be a lot of work, even the second time around.  Be ready for it.  Read Getting Things Done for some practical guidance in this arena.

12.  Forget about impressing people.

So many people buy things they don’t need with money they don’t have to impress people they don’t know.  Or some variation thereof…

Don’t be one of these people.  It’s a waste of time.  And it’s probably one of the reasons you need a second chance in the first place.

Just keep doing what you know is right.  And if it doesn’t work, adjust your approach and try again.  You’ll get there eventually.

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning but anyone can start today and make a new ending.-Maria Robinson

The Ten Most Important Things To Remember

By
Adam East
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To make the proper choices in life we have to make priorities. Here are ten things that I believe are among the most important to remember.

1. The most important thing parents can do for their kids is to have a good relationship with each other. This is where children get their lessons in life on how to be with another person. Set a good example.

2. The most important thing a man can do for his love is to cherish them. If your mate feels your love and knows that you are there for them, it creates a very strong foundation.

3. The most important thing a woman can do for her partner is to be a great cheerleader. We all need to know that we are the star player in the eyes of the person we love.

4. The most important thing to know about yourself is that you are good enough. You don’t have to be the best at anything to have a great life. Don’t let anyone’s criticism of something you’ve done keep you from feeling good about yourself.

5. The most important thing to feel is that you are loved. Life without love is just tolerable. I really think that feeling the love, where ever it comes from, is the only way to truly experience life to its fullest.

6. The most important thing to do in life is to contribute to the well-being of humanity. Everything else aside, the knowledge that you have made the world a tiny bit better just by being here and trying to help is a great way to get you through the rough patches.

7. The most important thing to remember is that special person who has been good to you. That teacher in grammar school who helped you discover a special talent you have. The one who won your heart. The person whose name you’ll never know who pulled over to help you change a tire.

8. The most important thing to give to yourself is time. Life is a limited window of opportunity. Wasting time (which is different from relaxing) is one of the ways we hurt ourselves. Anger, resentment, feeling too sorry for ourselves, and plotting revenge are just a few of the ways we waste the precious minutes of our lives.

9. The most important thing in the world is the people who are in it. Look, if we were really meant to be alone, there wouldn’t be so many of us on the planet. Your mission is to find those deserving of your talents and time and to treasure and share your life with them.

10. The most important thing in life is to feel that you are living it to the best of your abilities. Knowing that you are reaching your potential is comforting. You want your life to end with as few regrets as possible.

These life lessons are just common sense, but I have found over the years that common sense ain’t all that common.

8 Ways to Keep in Shape After You Get Married/In to relationship

By
Adam East
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If you think that just because you’re married now you no longer have to care about your weight, think again! Remaining slim and trim is more than just a question of being attractive to a potential partner, it’s also a question of remaining healthy for the rest of your life.

When people get married they sometimes tend to become complacent and in many cases some habits your partner might have will start to rub off on you.

If you don’t want to look back in four-five years at your wedding picture and not recognize the smiling and happy couple, here are 8 tips to avoid getting weight after you’ve said “I do”:

    1. Learn how to cook healthy meals
      There are so many healthy recipes on the Web that you don’t even have to spend any money on a new cookbook to start cooking healthy meals. If you stock your fridge with healthy foods and prepare healthy recipes, you and your partner will remain a healthy couple. If neither you nor your partner is comfortable in the kitchen, why not take this opportunity to sign up for a basic cooking class?

 

    1. Eat at the kitchen table
      British diet guru Paul McKenna has been advocating sitting down and eating. So many North Americans eat on the run and that’s a recipe for overeating because when your mind is preoccupied by something else, you are not aware of how much food you’re eating.

 

    1. Save your waist line by bringing your lunch
      Bringing your lunch not only helps you be more in control of the foods you eat, but it’s a great way of saving money. When you pack your lunch you actually avoid having to wait in line at an eatery and you can use that time to take your lunch to a nearby park for a relaxing lunch.

 

    1. Be careful of how many bottles of wine you drink
      Enjoying a drink or two on weekends with your partner is such a relaxing way to spend some time together. But you might want to be mindful of how much wine you actually drink because alcoholic beverages are packed with calories and you can easily lose track of how much you drink … especially if you’re watching a sports event or a great movie. Since a five-ounce glass of your favorite alcoholic beverage contains about 120 calories, you’re looking at over 240 calories a night (for two drinks). If you do that five nights a week, that’s an extra 1,200 calories per week!

 

    1. Exercise together as a couple
      Fitness is key to remaining fit and slim! If you find it too hard to exercise on your own, get your partner involved and that way you can keep each other accountable. It can be as simple as going for a long walk and sharing the events of your day. If you get into the habit of including fitness in your relationship, you’ll be an active and healthy couple.

 

    1. Find an exercise you actually like
      Don’t feel obliged to do an exercise that your partner likes, but you hate. Working out together is ideal if both of you enjoy the same fitness activity. If golf is not your thing, but your partner could spend an entire day on the golf course, find another activity that would get you that excited and when both of you get together at the end of the day you’ll have great stories to share about your respective fitness passions.

 

    1. Discover new exercises
      If you’ve been doing the same-old-same-old exercise, it’s time to go out there and find a new one. There are far too many exercises for me to list them here, but if you want to try something new, try to get a trial class and you can find out if you’ve found a good match and it won’t cost you that much to try out something new.

 

    1. Keep the romance alive
      Avoid turning your feeling of frustration towards sex and your relationship into a food binging fest. If you are having problems in your relationship, you might want to make it a priority to work on increasing communication and sharing your feelings. Bottling your feelings and turning to food for comfort might make you feel good for that minute, but then you’ll be left with the guilt of overeating.

7 Life Lessons They Don’t Teach You In College

By
Adam East
-

Despite an economic climate where even college grads are having a hard time making gravy, I am grateful for my college degree.

There’s no doubt about it: the experience greatly aided my understanding of the business world, and equipped me with skills that will serve me for life.

 

 

Things like discipline, time management, and critical thinking skills. Not to mention, how to survive on “meatless meals” between financial aid checks.

But like many who are the beneficiaries of higher learning, I have discovered that there are some life skills that are left out upon graduation. Things that can make the road to success void of endless detours; Lessons that can impact quality of life!

Here, I’ll share with you, seven life lessons they don’t teach in college.

 

1. How to craft a killer resume, and how to land a lucrative job is only half the battle.

I wish I would have known that “how” you make your money is just as important as “how much” money you make.

It would have saved me years from working on gigs that stressed me out, stole my peace, and were poor matches for my personality and value system.

Experience is important, but enlightenment is crucial.

 

2. Life doesn’t grade on a curve.

There aren’t any “Cliff Notes” on credit card management, dealing with a bad boss, or understanding the opposite sex.

And yet, we’re constantly being “rated”.

Give your best to life’s many tests! Some things you just can’t fake. And you’ll end up on the losing end if you do.

 

3. Financial literacy is more important than remembering algebraic expressions.

To this day, I confess, I’ve never, ever had to apply what I learned in College Algebra.

But, I must say that calculating and converting percentages has made me a whiz on discounts during bargain sales at major retailers.

 

4. Knowing how to choose “good” friends is as important as having good grades.

Don’t believe me? When was the last time your books served as your “designated driver” when you needed one?

Or made you feel better after a bad break up?

Or told you didn’t looked fat in your new jeans?

Or supported your dreams?

As one famous writer eloquently expressed, “My friends are my estate.”

 

5. Even when you “perform well” other factors will influence your overall success.

Ask the folks on American Idol. Consider things like politics, popularity, timing, and who you know. Cover as many bases as possible in order to score.

 

6. Balance is crucial.

Just like yin and yang are influences that create harmony, it’s important to balance work and play, professional and recreational pursuits.

 

7. We are much more than our titles and our take home pay.

We were designed to be “human beings”, not human doings.

In other words, there is value in being a good person, a good parent, and making contributions to society, regardless as to your net worth. Know that!

And equally important as these take-away tips is the adage, “those who fail to learn from the past are destined to repeat it.”

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