How to Say “I Am Sorry” can be really, really hard. Learning how to say “I am sorry”doesn’t come easy for everyone. Swallowing your pride like that can be difficult – and trust me, I speak from experience. It’s not that I don’t know I’m wrong when I have an argument, disagreement, or fight with the Better Half, one of my family members, or my friends; it’s just that I don’t know how to admit it. If you need some help figuring out how to say “I am sorry” to the people you love, this should help.

1. ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY

One of the most important tips on learning how to say “I am sorry” involves accepting responsibility for whatever you’ve done. You have to recognize that what you did hurt someone you love. No excuses, no justifications, just accept that, be responsible for it.

2. AGREE TO DISAGREE

What I mean here is that once you’ve accepted responsibility, don’t stop there. You may not think what you did was all that wrong, you may not understand why your lover or friend or mother or colleague is hurt. That’s fine. You need to try to understand at some junction, but it’s also important for you to realize that, right now, it’s enough that the other person is hurt. Don’t try to debate why, just apologize.

3. WRITE IT OUT

Learning how to say “I am sorry” really is difficult, even when you follow the first two tips. Sometimes, people write better than they speak – and if you’re being sincere, that’s okay. If it helps you get out everything you want to say, write your apology. Make sure your sincerity shows through your letter.

4. A KIND GESTURE

Some people straight up cannot say they’re sorry. Practice makes perfect, but in the meantime, you still need to deal with the situations that call for an apology. So be kind. Let your feelings show even when you can’t find the words to say what you mean. Bake a cake, send flowers, or give the person you hurt a hug.

5. PHONE IT IN

This may seem like a cop out, but it can be helpful. If you have trouble looking someone in the eye and apologizing to them, then begin by calling them. Being able to apologize over the phone may make it easier for you to transition into doing it face to face.

6. DON’T LET PRIDE GET IN THE WAY

For many people who have trouble figuring out how to say “I am sorry” to the people they love, pride is often the culprit. It inserts itself firmly in your throat, so you can’t say the words you want to say. Try not to let that happen. Your pride isn’t as important as the people who care about you; their feelings should come first.

7. YOU DON’T HAVE TO BEG

Some people feel that, when they apologize, they’re essentially begging. That’s not true at all, and if you do find yourself begging someone to accept an apology, you may want to take a step back and analyze that particular relationship. Apologizing doesn’t mean begging. Everyone does something wrong sometimes. Apologizing for it just means you’re acknowledging that you hurt someone who means something to you.

Learning how to say “I am sorry” is one of the bravest things you can do – and actually saying it is even more courageous. If you don’t know how to say “I am sorry” to the people you love, you’re not alone, I promise. Many people have that problem. It often comes down to not letting your pride get in the way. These tips should really help you in your quest to apologize with ease and sincerity, though.